Roses are red, pregnancy tests are blue
by mizzshy
Summary: They should never have been able to build a stable relationship, somehow they did. And now one of them is pregnant! Can they keep it together or will things fall apart? Mpreg and some fairly major crack. Spoilers: ends of DN manga and OHSHC anime
1. In which impossible things occur

**Chapter one:**

**In which impossible things occur**

Everyone around them was of the same mind: this shouldn't work. Nothing supported it, at least in theory. One of them should have been irritated far beyond his own (extremely subjective) willpower, and the other should, as a result of that irritation, have ended up with a bullet through his pretty head. Everyone's instincts said "no!" to this odd couple.

At yet, somehow, this _was_ happening and, what was more, it was actually working.

Eventually everyone got used to it. After a while they only ever thought of their original objections fleetingly. It became a fact of life they all grew used to, like the third music room's strange additions, or the way the original L was – had been. Tamaki and Mello became a part of everyone's lives. Eventually.

The two of them did wonder on their own relationship from time to time too – especially Tamaki. He could recall more than a few nights where he had lain awake, thinking about Mello and why the scarred young man put up with him. If it had been anyone else, he would have put it down to his good looks, and that they found his lust for life and youthful exuberance endearing, but he knew Mello better than that. Finally, he asked the man himself, and was rewarded with a slightly uncharacteristically thoughtful look before Mello replied with a quiet "You make me feel like a better person."

It was a simple statement but Tamaki beamed. He had chosen the time to ask (and afterwards to shower Mello with kisses) well: a post-coital, sleepy Mello was less likely to hold a gun to Tamaki's neck out of annoyance.

"That and you give me chocolate."

* * *

Mello was a volatile creature. If provoked, he would waste no time whipping out his gun, reflexes sharp. If relaxed, he was charismatic and funny – and sometimes affectionate. And then there was the chocolate: the near-constant cracking and snapping sounds of it breaking, interspersed with chewing. Most people found it profoundly irritating (not that they would dare to say anything about it though). Tamaki, however, accepted it on the basis that everyone had their own faults. He had even, in the transition between his host club years and now, learned to acknowledge his own faults, hence why he had often thought on his and Mello's relationship. But apparently his sometimes-annoying tendency to exclaim loudly about things which delighted him was, for Mello, eclipsed by the way he made the detective feel – and so they stayed together.

Not that Tamaki got away with it completely. In the nearly-two years in which they had been together, he had been poked, prodded, pinched, kicked, punched, threatened and tied up; still the relationship seemed strong. Everyone now supposed that Tamaki must be some kind of masochist on top of everything else.

It shouldn't have worked.

Somehow it did.

* * *

One evening, Tamaki came home to the large, comfortable house in which he and Mello lived together. Usually he got home before his lover, but tonight said man's long black leather coat was hung up on the row of hooks by the door, and his boots had been left lying on the floor below. Intrigued, and more than a little pleased, Tamaki went through to the kitchen and found Mello stirring a pot on the stove, which was emitting wonderfully scented fumes. He went and stood beside the other man, arms around his waist and looking into the pot.

"Hi," Mello greeted him, teeth clearly clenched in concentration.

Tamaki kissed his bare shoulder and smiled against the scarred skin. "Did Near not need you today?"

Mello turned in the circle of Tamaki's arms and scowled at him, almost nose-to-nose. "Near is not my boss. We work together as L – we're equals now. I just made an executive decision today because it's a special occasion." He paused, and then added, "Happy birthday, by the way."

Tamaki grinned as Mello tugged him into a kiss by his tie and kissed back, used to Mello's tongue licking his lip before pushing immediately forward and touching his own. Shortly they both heard a bubbling and hissing noise and Mello extricated himself with a string of gruff words.

He had prepared a simple pasta and sauce meal for the anniversary of Tamaki's birth, but Tamaki enjoyed it as much as he would have enjoyed a top-class, gourmet meal, glad just to have Mello to himself for a night for once. Sure, the Kira case had ended several years ago now, but Mello, Matt and Near were all continuing on the path L had set them and working together as the greatest detective in the world. It was frustrating for Tamaki when a case was going on that kept his lover away from him for days at a time, and so he cherished every evening he could be with Mello.

Later, they left the plates on the table and Mello almost dragged Tamaki upstairs, closing the door behind them.

"Rose petals?" The Suoh was surprised as he looked at their bed.

"Yeah... Don't you like them?" Mello was staring at him intently and still had one hand on Tamaki's wrist.

Tamaki looked back at him, head tilted. "I love them... but I didn't think you'd –"

"You like them and it's your birthday," put in Mello simply, squeezing Tamaki's wrist for just a moment.

When Tamaki said nothing the detective rolled his eyes and let go of the former's wrist, reaching into his trousers.

"Tamaki, I'm kind of horny right now and if you don't like them you'd better just ignore them because –" he lifted his gun, pointing it at Tamaki's chest – "one way or another you're getting on that bed."

Tamaki raised his eyebrows, laughed nervously and pulled off his tie. Mello was here and in a good mood; for that alone he was grateful.

* * *

It was mid-May when Tamaki noticed the biggest change in Mello. Rcently he had been more sleepy than usual; Tamaki had blamed work, telling Mello that he was working too hard and too long. Mello had disagreed, but now he was sitting across from Tamaki at the table, his bowl of chocolate cereal in front of him entirely untouched. His face was slightly flushed and his expression one of apparent concentration.

"Are you okay?" asked the half-French man.

Mello looked up and nodded. "Yeah... just not hungry."

Tamaki's eyebrows rose incredulously. "But you love choc –"

"I'm going to work... See you later." Mello leapt up and hurried out of the room, leaving a confused Tamaki still at the breakfast table.

* * *

Tamaki was at his desk at work that day when he got a phone call.

"Hello?"

"Tamaki?" The emotionless voice was not Mello's but –

"Near?"

"Yes."

"What is it?"

"It's Mello. He's just vomited."

"What?" Alarm bells started ringing in Tamaki's head.

"He's just vomited."

"I get that; I mean 'what?'"

"He's in the bathroom now but the monitor that was in his firing range is going to need replacing. Fortunately we weren't handling the evidence today."

"Is he okay?"

There was a distant groan and a splattering noise on the other end of the line.

"I don't think so."

"I'll come pick him up."

* * *

"Look, are you going to co-operate or do I have to stick this thing up your –"

"I don't need it!" objected Mello, bottom jaw stuck out determinedly.

Tamaki sighed in exasperation. Despite the fact that he had left work early, gone to the detectives' headquarters, brought Mello back and carried him to bed, the scarred blonde was now refusing to do one little thing for him like let his temperature be taken. Instead, Mello was stubbornly refusing, arms folded around his legs, which he had drawn up to his chest. There was a sulky set to his expressive mouth and he looked thoroughly annoyed.

Tamaki sighed again, wondering how best to get his lover to simply comply. Suddenly Mello leapt from the bed and rushed into the ensuite bathroom. Tamaki heard retching and more splattering, and groans laced with profanities (or, at least, the sentiments of profanities).

"_Now_ will you let me take your temperature?" the Suoh asked, but Mello was saved from answering by the sound of the doorbell.

At the front door, Tamaki met a dark-haired young man bearing the Ohtori insignia on his jacket and carrying a small package. The deliverer bowed.

"Ohtori-sama asked me to deliver this package to you, sir." He handed over the package and bowed again, before getting back into the car behind him and driving away.

Tamaki closed the front door and opened the packet, finding a note inside.

"Tamaki –

I heard about Mello's sudden

illness and thought I'd send

something that may help.

Kyouya"

Tamaki blinked, but looked at what else was in the packet.. All at once, his eyebrows rose. His eyes became wide and his cheeks flushed. Surely that couldn't...? No... Was that even possible?

He returned to the bedroom to find Mello sitting on the edge of the bed, head in his hand.

"What's wrong?" he asked as Tamaki entered the room. "You don't usually blush like that unless I've got my hand wrapped around your –"

Wordlessly, Tamaki held out the item he had just received and Mello went silent.

* * *

Half an hour later, the two of them were sitting side by side on the floor by the ensuite.

Tamaki checked his watch. "It's been three minutes."

Mello glared at him.

"You're not going to check it?"

"You do it," Mello murmured.

Tamaki sighed once more and shakily stood, going into the bathroom. Mello heard him give a gasp, both joyful and terrified and the taller man re-emerged, nodding at him.

Mello gaped at Tamaki, disbelief on his face quickly turning into a scowl as his thoughts raced.

"What the _fuck_? I offer to ride you _once_ and suddenly _I_'m the one who's pregnant?"

* * *

**Author's notes:** So, I haven't been around for a bit. I've just finished my first year of university and am just starting to get back into the whole fanfiction thing now that I'm not so busy!

I had the idea for this ages ago and needed to write it. I think the whole thing came to be fully-formed. Please let me know what you think; I love reading reviews!


	2. In which a rift forms

Chapter two:

In which a rift forms

"Fuck." _Click_. "Fuck." _Click_. "Fuck." _Click_.

These were the sounds that punctuated the car ride Tamaki and Mello took to the hospital the following day. Mello was the one providing the noises, alternately flicking the cock of his gun back and forth and swearing loudly. His expression was one of utter anger and confusion, and his hands were uncharacteristically shaking. Tamaki watched his lover from the other side of the back seat, a concerned look on his face. His eyebrows were raised up and his lips were pulled in slightly as Mello let out a low growl and shoved the gun down the front of his trousers. He then turned his gaze out of the window and said nothing, leaving Tamaki to consider his left side.

Mello hadn't talked much since the previous night's revelation, choosing instead to kick things, growl occasionally and swear loudly every so often. He had, however, managed to convey to Tamaki his desire to go to the hospital today and so they were now in the car.

Mello's hand (currently clenched into a fist) was lying still by his side, and Tamaki reached out to put his own hand over it. The fist pulled away from him, and Tamaki began to retract his hand again, heart sinking. He hadn't even pulled away before Mello's hand returned and held his firmly. Tamaki squeezed it back. Mello would never admit to any kind of fear, but the pressure on Tamaki's hand was as plaintive as a cry. Despite himself, Mello had told Tamaki everything, without a single word, and so the latter tried his best to pass comfort with another gentle squeeze.

He had not said much since the previous night either, Mello had either been creating so much noise it was impossible, or had been in his silent 'ticking time bomb' mode, where any single sound from Tamaki would have caused an explosion. It was a little uncharacteristic for Tamaki to be so quiet at such a time, but then it was more than a little uncharacteristic for someone of Mello's gender to get pregnant (if he was – nothing was conformed as of yet).

Tamaki suspected that the other man wanted to go to the hospital to confirm that it wasn't true, that the 'morning sickness' was just a virus and that it would pass. Tamaki half-hoped the same, but there had been an electrifying jolt in his gut when he'd seen the little blue line on the test. He'd always imagined children in his future, no matter if he was with a guy or girl, as adoption and surrogacy had never been out of the question in his mind. But now Mello... well, if he was pregnant, then that was surely preferable to adoption – the baby would be _theirs_ completely, rather than one effectively borrowed or only half theirs... But then...

Tamaki turned to look at Mello again, still holding his hand.

"Mello," the scarred man looked at him, still looking grim, but not abjectly against being spoken to.

Tamaki swallowed, unsure of how to phrase his thoughts: Mello wasn't exactly the paternal (maternal?) sort. "Did you... I mean... Have you ever... What do you think about... well... children? Having them, that is..."

Mello's eyebrows rose and his eyes widened as the car came to a stop.

"We're at the hospital, sirs," announced the driver.

Mello glanced at him and then back at Tamaki. Wordlessly, he took his hand and gaze from the other man's and got out of the car. Tamaki followed suit, stomach clenched.

That silence had been... strange. Mello had looked... well, shocked. Shocked and scared.

Tamaki followed Mello round to the other side of the car, leaning in the window to tell the driver that he would call when they were done. The car moved away and left the pair standing uncertainly on the pavement.

"Kyouya said he'd meet us here," said Tamaki, glancing around and then at his watch. "We're a little early."

Mello said nothing, but his face was pale, turning green in places. He dashed away from Tamaki suddenly, over to a bin, into which he promptly vomited. Tamaki sighed sympathetically and went over, taking Mello's hair from his grasp and pulling more back from his face, holding it for him. His other hand rubbed what he hoped were comforting circles on his leather-clad back.

When Mello was finished bringing up his stomach, Tamaki looked around and saw Kyouya coming towards them.

"Apologies," greeted the dark-haired man. "There was a lot of traffic my side of town. I only got here as soon as I did because I told my driver he'd better find a shortcut soon or else."

The three men walked inside and Kyouya had a word with the receptionist in the lobby. A minute later, they entered a wide lift and started upwards.

"I made an appointment with the best antenatal doctors I have," explained Kyouya, glancing through his notebook. "I explained the situation to them, or at least what we know of it, and they'll be discreet about everything."

Mello listened in silence, still looking pale – his scar stood out rawly against the rest of his face. "And what about my name?"

_Oh_, thought Tamaki. He hadn't thought about that at all.

Kyouya shrugged. "I didn't tell them of your identity. I just gave them my name for this appointment for the sake of ease. You may use it as a surname to 'Mello,' if you so wish. They won't ask questions."

Mello nodded. "Thank you."

At the sixth floor, they exited the lift and Kyouya led them down the broad corridor. He was behaving completely as normal, so businesslike and matter-of-fact that it helped Tamaki calm his nerves. Mello too looked less manic than Tamaki had seen him in the last twenty-four hours. They stopped outside a door and Kyouya knocked.

The office was spacious, like the rest of the hospital, and the carpet and comfortable chairs made it look more like a private study than an office in a hospital. Behind the desk sat the doctor, a middle-aged man with fine silver hairs streaking his black head. He wore neat glasses and a bow tie, and his hands, currently rifling through a small notebook, were large.

"Good morning, doctor." Kyouya closed the door behind the three of them. "Thank you for looking into this."

"That's quite all right sir," answered the doctor, putting down his notebook and looking at the other two. "I'm Doctor Kanno. Please, sit."

Mello and Tamaki took the two seats in front of the huge desk and Kyouya settled himself on a sofa against one wall of the room.

"So, uh... which of you to is... um..." Doctor Kanno was looking between the couple. "Pregnant?"

Mello frowned, but answered," "Me. That is... might be. Nothing's certain yet so don't get too excited."

"Right." The doctor looked down at his notes. "I'll guess you're Mello then. Mr Ohtori told me you were a cousin of his, so would you also be an Ohtori in that case?"

Mello paused for a moment, then replied, "Yeah, go with that."

Doctor Kanno's eyebrows furrowed for a moment, and he looked as thought he might say something, but Kyouya gave a small coughing sound, and the man closed his mouth. He wrote down the name.

"And I suppose you'd be the... well, other parent?" Doctor Kanno turned hesitantly to Tamaki, who nodded.

"Tamaki Suoh." He shook the doctor's hand, trying to bring a sense of normalcy back to the proceedings. The other man seemed grateful for this, taking a moment to collect himself.

"Right, so..." He looked at his notes again. "As I understand it, you took a pregnancy test that came up positive?"

"Yes," answered Tamaki, after Mello merely grunted.

"Okay," replied the doctor. "Have you had any other symptoms?"

Mello still looked a little despondent, but then replied, "I get stomach pains, cramping ones. I feel hot sometimes, especially at night. And then..."

He trailed off and looked around. Tamaki looked at him in concern. Mello was green in the face again, and it looked like expulsion was imminent. Tamaki panicked, knowing they wouldn't get to any bathroom in time. Then, out of nowhere, a large hand appeared out of nowhere, holding a long paper bag. Mello grabbed it and the room filled with unpleasant noises.

"Thank you," said Tamaki gratefully to Doctor Kanno, who smiled slightly.

"I've been in this line of work for a while," he replied. "You get used to patients having morning sickness."

Mello shuddered and looked up, gripping the bag under his chin. "Is that what it is then?"

The doctor nodded, but uncertainly. "It could very well be. We won't know for certain until we do a scan, and I have no idea how this could have happened, but it certainly sounds like it could be."

Mello groaned.

There were more cursory questions for a while. The doctor took Mello's weight and height, recording all of the information in the computer. He gave them various leaflets and information sheets, along with a stack of sick bags and tissues.

"Now, normally your due date" – Mello groaned at this – "would be estimated at forty weeks from the end of your last period. Obviously though, we can't use that in this case, so... can either of you give me an estimation of when it was you conceived?"

Tamaki and Mello exchanged a glance, and Tamaki cleared his throat. "That would be the eighth of April," he replied, remembering his birthday celebrations.

Doctor Kanno typed more into his computer. "Okay, so thirty-eight weeks from that date would estimate the due date around the thirtieth of December. This is a very rough estimation though; most women don't give birth on their due date, and this is a different situation entirely..."

Tamaki nodded and Mello sat in silence.

"I can make appointments for you with the ultrasound and nutritionist, as well as classes for both of you to prepare for birth and afterwards."

"Thank you," said Tamaki again, taking a list of names and numbers from the doctor.

Mello was oddly quiet as all of this happened, but then he looked at the doctor. "What if I don't want any of that?" he asked.

Doctor Kanno looked a little bemused. "Well... It's not really advisable to continue without the help available, and this hospital is a very good hosp–"

"No," cut in Mello. "I mean, I don't want to continue."

Tamaki's stomach fell into his pelvis, or at least it felt that way. He understood exactly what Mello was trying to say before the words were uttered:

"I want an abortion."

Author's notes:

Yeah, I've been away for a while, sorry. I just finished my second year of uni and it's been crazy-busy again. Hopefully I'll write more than one chapter for this fic this year. I've no intention of leaving just yet...!


End file.
